Meanwhile in W*lmart… - January 6, 2018
(Note: My hubs Laur read this and laughed at it.)
Mouth shapes are funny things. There sure are a variety of them. I have what is called a “pie-shaped” mouth. The corners of my mouth naturally go up. This is true whether I’m happy, sad, sleeping or fuming. In fact my two youngest kids tell me that when I got mad I was particularly scary looking because I looked like I was smiling while threatening to pull the sun out of the sky.
My hubs, Laur, does not have this problem. The natural position of his mouth is “I’m going to bite somebody!” He isn’t – at least not all of the time. I’ve heard one of his colleagues yell out as Laur was wandering blissfully by, “Things aren’t that bad, are they?!”
There are a few occasions when his homicidal look is for real. That’s when we go shopping. Or rather, I go shopping and drag him to help carry things. Hey, he’s retired. It gets him out of the trailer. Today, the day after New Years Day, we had a lot of groceries to buy – most at the 99-cent store, and a few at W*lmart.
I figured – when I saw the line up at the 99-cent store – that we could divide and conquer. Laur could wait in line, bag and pay for the food, and take it to the car. In the meantime, I’d go buy the few things at W*lmart. Laur detests W*lmart even more than he does the 99-cent store. I understand. I told him to meet me at the front of the store at the main entrance. This is to save him wandering around the store endlessly, trying to find me.
As luck would have it, just after I headed off to W*lmart, the 99-cent store added an extra cashier. He was out in a few minutes. And – after putting the food in the car – headed to the W*lmart. He did exactly as I requested. He planted himself firmly at the front of the store at the main entrance.
He found it a more than little odd that as people went by him, they smiled and said, “Hello!” or “Good afternoon!” or “Happy New Year!” Laur is not an extrovert, but did his best to grimace at these people. And then he saw himself in a mirror. He was wearing a W*lmart-blue shirt. And he remembered that the Green Valley W*lmart normally employs greeters who are seniors.
The shoppers thought that he – Laur – was a W*lmart Greeter!!! Then he thought to himself, “Wow, these people must really think W*lmart is desperate for employees. Even Laur recognizes that he is more of a groucher than a greeter.
He decided he’d rather wander around the store than mutter “Hi” at perfect strangers. Thankfully he found me at the checkout.
Laur’s addendum: ☹ = happy!
Mouth shapes are funny things. There sure are a variety of them. I have what is called a “pie-shaped” mouth. The corners of my mouth naturally go up. This is true whether I’m happy, sad, sleeping or fuming. In fact my two youngest kids tell me that when I got mad I was particularly scary looking because I looked like I was smiling while threatening to pull the sun out of the sky.
My hubs, Laur, does not have this problem. The natural position of his mouth is “I’m going to bite somebody!” He isn’t – at least not all of the time. I’ve heard one of his colleagues yell out as Laur was wandering blissfully by, “Things aren’t that bad, are they?!”
There are a few occasions when his homicidal look is for real. That’s when we go shopping. Or rather, I go shopping and drag him to help carry things. Hey, he’s retired. It gets him out of the trailer. Today, the day after New Years Day, we had a lot of groceries to buy – most at the 99-cent store, and a few at W*lmart.
I figured – when I saw the line up at the 99-cent store – that we could divide and conquer. Laur could wait in line, bag and pay for the food, and take it to the car. In the meantime, I’d go buy the few things at W*lmart. Laur detests W*lmart even more than he does the 99-cent store. I understand. I told him to meet me at the front of the store at the main entrance. This is to save him wandering around the store endlessly, trying to find me.
As luck would have it, just after I headed off to W*lmart, the 99-cent store added an extra cashier. He was out in a few minutes. And – after putting the food in the car – headed to the W*lmart. He did exactly as I requested. He planted himself firmly at the front of the store at the main entrance.
He found it a more than little odd that as people went by him, they smiled and said, “Hello!” or “Good afternoon!” or “Happy New Year!” Laur is not an extrovert, but did his best to grimace at these people. And then he saw himself in a mirror. He was wearing a W*lmart-blue shirt. And he remembered that the Green Valley W*lmart normally employs greeters who are seniors.
The shoppers thought that he – Laur – was a W*lmart Greeter!!! Then he thought to himself, “Wow, these people must really think W*lmart is desperate for employees. Even Laur recognizes that he is more of a groucher than a greeter.
He decided he’d rather wander around the store than mutter “Hi” at perfect strangers. Thankfully he found me at the checkout.
Laur’s addendum: ☹ = happy!