Hearing, Helping, Hamburgers, and Headfirst - January 16, 2021
Motivational speaker Emory Austin says, “Some days there won't be a song in your heart. Sing anyway.” Trust me, there are not enough exits in this apartment building, should I start singing. So I’m going to change this quote, just a little. “Some days there won’t be a story in your heart. Write one anyway.”
It’s Friday afternoon and most Friday afternoons I have a Sunshine Story to give to Laur to proofread. Up until an hour ago, I didn’t have one for this week. I didn’t have one last week. And truly, it’s covid related. To have a story to tell, you have to have something happen. There is not much happening.
But most days there is something that gives me a smile. Here are a few of them from the past few weeks …
WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?
Laur and I came in from our walk today after lunch and I asked him if he would like me to bring him a cup of tea. And he said he would. And I teased him and said, “Next you’ll be wanting crumpets.”
Laur stopped dead in his tracks. “What did you just say?” I responded, “Next you’ll be wanting crumpets.” And he chuckled, “I thought you said, ‘Next you’ll be washing trumpets!”
(Hee hee hee!!! You thought he thought I said, “Next you’ll be wanting strumpets.”)
I said, “I’m not sure how well that hearing aid is working.” Hubs replied, “At least I still check with you when something doesn’t sound quite right. Pretty soon you’ll come home to find me washing trumpets.”
Where we’ll get trumpets, I have no idea. By then both of us will have had our car keys taken away.
SPICE GIRL
I have recently started crockpot cooking and it seems every new recipe requires new spices. Up until the first of January, we only had three on hand – salt, pepper, and hot chili peppers. So off I went to Food Basics and bought pretty much every dried herb and spice they had in stock. I beamed at my cashier as she scanned the items, and I said, “I’m going to make soup!” When she totalled the bill, she said, “That’s one expensive bowl of soup.”
The experiment is continuing and I now need herbs and spices that Food Basics doesn’t carry. So off I went to Sobeys. And they do have a larger variety, but it’s divided into three sections. So it’s a challenge finding things. And some things they don’t have at all. They are all sold out.
I was searching for stuff for at least 20 minutes and, by the end of it, I was pretty much an expert on what they had and didn’t have. They did not have bay leaves, for example. A young man was also looking for something and looked a little like a bunny in the headlights. So I chatted with him from six feet away. “What are you looking for?”
Turns out he was making a slow cooker beef pot-roast for the first time, and needed a variety of spices. I was now an expert. Said I, “Do you want organic or regular, house brand or specialty, large size or small?” Turns out he wanted regular, house brand, and small. I was happy to point them out.
But, said I, “If you want bay leaves, there aren’t any to be found here or most grocery stores.” I nearly said, “I can give you some…” but that would have sounded super creepy. So I said, “You can order them on Amazon. The best deal is the Sadaf Bay Leaves at $3.49 but you have to order another item that costs at least $25. Ships in two days.”
Then I saw an older lad in the same area looking for something on the other side of the aisle. “Watcha looking for?” I asked. He said, “Plum sauce. I can’t go home without it.” “No problem!”, I said. “It’s in with the International Food over in aisle 9. And I walked him over because I was going there anyway, looking for garam masala – an Indian spice not in with “the regular” spices. No lack of plum sauce for him; no garam masala for me. (Best deal on Amazon is McCormick’s at $3.99.)
And on my way to the cashier, I heard a customer telling a clerk there was no corn starch to be found anywhere in the store. The shelf it was supposed to be on was empty. I came over, just a grinnin’. “It’s in the same area, but to the left on the middle shelf. And they only have the house brand.”
We are only half-way through January and the latest report is that we Canadians might not all be vaccinated until September. Sobey’s will likely have a restraining order against me by then.
[Ed. Or they’ll hire her, which means I’ll get my trumpets regularly…]
JASPERISMS
We have Jasper on Tuesdays and Thursdays. We used to be able to bring him home for lunch, and every once in a while Jazz would express his strong preference for something other than what we were going to feed him. On this particular day he said, “I really want a ‘hanguber!’”
And I decided to try some modern psychology on him. I sympathized, “I really want a hamburger too, but sadly we cannot.” To which Jasper replied, “You don’t have to have a hanguber. I want a hanguber.”
On another day, Jasper was complaining as we went by a fast food place, “I’m very hungry.” And he looked so sad. So I tried to distract him. “Look Jasper! A garbage truck!” To which he replied, “I can’t eat a garbage truck!”
On a Tuesday we went to Happy Rolph’s and Jasper fell face forward, having slipped on some ice. I said, “Good fall Jasper!” He gave me the stink-eye. “It was NOT a good fall.” And I said, “It is a good fall if you don’t hurt yourself.” To which he replied, “Hmmm…” and said nothing.
On the following Thursday we went to the Glenridge Quarry Naturalization Site, which Jasper and Laur call the Garbage Park. And Laur fell face forward, having slipped on some ice. He got up rather quickly so I thought all was well and said, “Good fall Grumpa Laur!” Turns out if was not a good fall. And Laur had lots to say about it over the next few days. 😊
*****
Time be still. But not too still. This covid vaccine cannot come fast enough.
It’s Friday afternoon and most Friday afternoons I have a Sunshine Story to give to Laur to proofread. Up until an hour ago, I didn’t have one for this week. I didn’t have one last week. And truly, it’s covid related. To have a story to tell, you have to have something happen. There is not much happening.
But most days there is something that gives me a smile. Here are a few of them from the past few weeks …
WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?
Laur and I came in from our walk today after lunch and I asked him if he would like me to bring him a cup of tea. And he said he would. And I teased him and said, “Next you’ll be wanting crumpets.”
Laur stopped dead in his tracks. “What did you just say?” I responded, “Next you’ll be wanting crumpets.” And he chuckled, “I thought you said, ‘Next you’ll be washing trumpets!”
(Hee hee hee!!! You thought he thought I said, “Next you’ll be wanting strumpets.”)
I said, “I’m not sure how well that hearing aid is working.” Hubs replied, “At least I still check with you when something doesn’t sound quite right. Pretty soon you’ll come home to find me washing trumpets.”
Where we’ll get trumpets, I have no idea. By then both of us will have had our car keys taken away.
SPICE GIRL
I have recently started crockpot cooking and it seems every new recipe requires new spices. Up until the first of January, we only had three on hand – salt, pepper, and hot chili peppers. So off I went to Food Basics and bought pretty much every dried herb and spice they had in stock. I beamed at my cashier as she scanned the items, and I said, “I’m going to make soup!” When she totalled the bill, she said, “That’s one expensive bowl of soup.”
The experiment is continuing and I now need herbs and spices that Food Basics doesn’t carry. So off I went to Sobeys. And they do have a larger variety, but it’s divided into three sections. So it’s a challenge finding things. And some things they don’t have at all. They are all sold out.
I was searching for stuff for at least 20 minutes and, by the end of it, I was pretty much an expert on what they had and didn’t have. They did not have bay leaves, for example. A young man was also looking for something and looked a little like a bunny in the headlights. So I chatted with him from six feet away. “What are you looking for?”
Turns out he was making a slow cooker beef pot-roast for the first time, and needed a variety of spices. I was now an expert. Said I, “Do you want organic or regular, house brand or specialty, large size or small?” Turns out he wanted regular, house brand, and small. I was happy to point them out.
But, said I, “If you want bay leaves, there aren’t any to be found here or most grocery stores.” I nearly said, “I can give you some…” but that would have sounded super creepy. So I said, “You can order them on Amazon. The best deal is the Sadaf Bay Leaves at $3.49 but you have to order another item that costs at least $25. Ships in two days.”
Then I saw an older lad in the same area looking for something on the other side of the aisle. “Watcha looking for?” I asked. He said, “Plum sauce. I can’t go home without it.” “No problem!”, I said. “It’s in with the International Food over in aisle 9. And I walked him over because I was going there anyway, looking for garam masala – an Indian spice not in with “the regular” spices. No lack of plum sauce for him; no garam masala for me. (Best deal on Amazon is McCormick’s at $3.99.)
And on my way to the cashier, I heard a customer telling a clerk there was no corn starch to be found anywhere in the store. The shelf it was supposed to be on was empty. I came over, just a grinnin’. “It’s in the same area, but to the left on the middle shelf. And they only have the house brand.”
We are only half-way through January and the latest report is that we Canadians might not all be vaccinated until September. Sobey’s will likely have a restraining order against me by then.
[Ed. Or they’ll hire her, which means I’ll get my trumpets regularly…]
JASPERISMS
We have Jasper on Tuesdays and Thursdays. We used to be able to bring him home for lunch, and every once in a while Jazz would express his strong preference for something other than what we were going to feed him. On this particular day he said, “I really want a ‘hanguber!’”
And I decided to try some modern psychology on him. I sympathized, “I really want a hamburger too, but sadly we cannot.” To which Jasper replied, “You don’t have to have a hanguber. I want a hanguber.”
On another day, Jasper was complaining as we went by a fast food place, “I’m very hungry.” And he looked so sad. So I tried to distract him. “Look Jasper! A garbage truck!” To which he replied, “I can’t eat a garbage truck!”
On a Tuesday we went to Happy Rolph’s and Jasper fell face forward, having slipped on some ice. I said, “Good fall Jasper!” He gave me the stink-eye. “It was NOT a good fall.” And I said, “It is a good fall if you don’t hurt yourself.” To which he replied, “Hmmm…” and said nothing.
On the following Thursday we went to the Glenridge Quarry Naturalization Site, which Jasper and Laur call the Garbage Park. And Laur fell face forward, having slipped on some ice. He got up rather quickly so I thought all was well and said, “Good fall Grumpa Laur!” Turns out if was not a good fall. And Laur had lots to say about it over the next few days. 😊
*****
Time be still. But not too still. This covid vaccine cannot come fast enough.